Animal House -
The house at 13 Mockingbird Lane didn't look like much from the street—peeling white paint, a porch swing that creaked without wind, and gutters stuffed with the skeletal remains of autumns past. But inside, it was a kingdom.
Harold smiled. "Alright," he said. "But I get the bedroom with the working radiator."
Harold read it twice. Then he looked at the squirrel, who had placed the cherry on his own head like a tiny, ridiculous crown.
1. The "No Animals" clause is hereby void, as the undersigned tenant is, by legal definition, a collective of sentient non-human persons. 2. Rent shall continue to be paid via automated fish-canning operation (basement, northwest corner). 3. The landlord agrees to provide monthly pest control, with the specific exclusion of squirrels, who are now officially tenants. Animal House
She called Harold Finch.
It started with a stray tabby, Barnaby, who found a broken latch on the basement window. He was followed by a one-eyed pug named Gus, who simply refused to leave the welcome mat. Then came the crow, a scruffy philosopher named Poe, who could work the kitchen faucet handle with his beak.
Then he heard it: a tiny click from the basement. The house at 13 Mockingbird Lane didn't look
From the kitchen upstairs, the toaster lever popped up on its own. Nobody had touched it.
Addendum to Lease Agreement for 13 Mockingbird Lane:
Barnaby immediately jumped into his lap. Gus rested a warm, wrinkled head on his shoe. Poe flew down and gently tugged at his cardigan sleeve, as if to say, You’re staying for dinner, aren’t you? "Alright," he said
"I’m losing my mind," he muttered.
The trouble began with a squirrel. Not any squirrel—a wiry, manic looter named Chestnut. Chestnut had been casing the bird feeder for weeks. One Tuesday, he managed to squeeze through a gap in the attic eaves. He emerged in the living room just as a cake—baked by a surprisingly dexterous raccoon named Margot—was cooling on the counter.
The system was perfect.
Chaos erupted. Chestnut grabbed the whole cake. Gus, sleep-sliding on the linoleum, gave chase. Barnaby knocked over a lamp. Poe, from his perch on the fridge, screamed, "Piece! Piece! Piece!" (The only human word he’d mastered.)