Daphne And Irina. | Show 1

You’re a monster.

(long pause. Then a slow grin.) That’s not profound. That’s mean . I love it. (beat) Okay, Show 1, Rule 1: Daphne is not allowed to arrange anything for the rest of the day. Daphne And Irina. Show 1

(laughing despite herself, reaching for the coffee cup) I hate this show. You’re a monster

(without looking up) If you rotate that apple one more time, I’m going to film it and put it on the internet. Title: Woman Declares War on Produce. That’s mean

And you’re a control artist who just got evicted from her own fruit bowl. (She steals the apple and takes a loud bite) Camera two, close up on anarchy.

It’s a Gala, Irina. Not an apple. Galas have symmetry. Red is at 2 o’clock. Green is at 8. This is basic fruit cartography.