The Corporate Familiar
Laszlo turns on the plasma ball. It hums. Jeffrey writes something on his clipboard: “Excessive ambient electromancy. Recommend mitigation.”
This one has no fear musk. I hate that. It’s unnatural. Lo que Hacemos en las Sombras 6x1
NADJA (40s, regal in a tattered gown) stands over a laptop. LASZLO (40s, wild-eyed) holds a glowing plasma ball, fascinated.
(flat affect) Good evening. I’ve reviewed your operational inefficiencies. You have nineteen half-empty crypts, three familiars in the basement you forgot about, and your “nightly terror radius” overlaps with a Wawa. I’ll need access to your victim intake forms. The Corporate Familiar Laszlo turns on the plasma ball
(without looking up) That would be me. Welcome aboard. I’ve already flagged a dozen microaggressions in your onboarding packet. Let’s go over them. One by one. In reverse alphabetical order.
I’m right here. And I quit. Three times. You drank my resignation letter because it was on “nice parchment.” Recommend mitigation
Jeffrey’s eye twitches for the first time.
(ignoring him) His name is Jeffrey. He works in “synergy.” He will handle our social media, our blood delivery logistics, and our rivalries with the werewolf pack. He uses spreadsheets.