Exploring the intersection of materials, chemistry, and design.
She posted it with a black-and-white photo of her staring out a rainy window—a photo she had taken specifically for this purpose, rehearsed in the mirror three times.
She deleted the whole album. Then she wrote a status: "So over drama. Going private. #hatersgonnahate."
She was nineteen. On a Tuesday night in November, she wore a sequined top from Forever 21 and drank UV Blue vodka mixed with cheap lemonade. The photos appeared on Facebook by 11:00 PM. By 1:00 AM, the tags were up. By 8:00 AM, the damage was done.
That was the secret shame of 2011. Not the mistake itself. But the desperate, algorithmic choreography of trying to delete the mistake while simultaneously curating the proof that you didn't care. shame -2011
The Highlight Reel
She hit "Untag." But the damage was already syndicated. Someone had already screenshotted it. Someone had already sent it to the "Ugly Candid" group chat on BBM. The shame wasn't guilt. Guilt was about doing something bad. Shame was about being something bad. And in 2011, you were what your profile said you were.
The shame hit not during the act—she barely remembered the act—but in the 8:00 AM walk of shame, clutching her platform heels against her chest, the autumn air biting her bare legs. But the real shame wasn't the walk. It was the refresh. She posted it with a black-and-white photo of
The shame remained—a low-grade fever behind her ribs. Because she knew that somewhere, on a hard drive or a cloud that didn't quite feel like a cloud yet, that bad photo still existed. Waiting. Like a scar she hadn't earned, but couldn't shake. End of draft.
In 2011, shame didn’t live in the town square anymore. It lived in your dorm room, in the pale blue glow of a Nokia N8 or a BlackBerry Curve. It was a silent, vibrating thing.
It was a tagged photo. She was mid-laugh, eyes half-closed, a red Solo cup merging with her hand like a tumor. In the background, a boy she liked was talking to another girl. Her own face looked hungry. Desperate. It was a fraction of a second—a shutter speed of 1/60th—but it felt like a mugshot of her soul. Going private
She closed the laptop. She opened her flip phone. No texts. She closed the flip phone.
She opened her laptop. The loading wheel spun. Then, the notifications: 17 new comments on a photo of you.
No upcoming events scheduled.
Principal Investigator, Professor of Chemistry
Panče Naumov leads the Smart Materials Lab and the Center for Smart Engineering Materials at NYUAD. His group is internationally recognized for pioneering crystal adaptronics and advancing adaptive molecular solids, with applications in sensing, robotics, optics, and energy systems.
Meet the Team
We are proud that the Smart Materials Lab is the leading team in impactful chemistry research in the United Arab Emirates, with research output that, according to the Nature Index, accounts for 40‒60% of the total chemistry publications within the country, both in fractional count and weighed fractional count. The past and current research projects in the Smart Materials Lab have been sponsored by Abu Dhabi National Oil Company (ADNOC), Abu Dhabi Education Council (ADEC), Human Science Frontier Program Organization (HFSPO), and the UAE National Research Foundation (NRF), in addition to generous financial support from NYUAD and the NYU Abu Dhabi Institute. The members of the Smart Materials Lab work closely with NYUAD's Center for Smart Engineering Materials (CSEM).