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The Golden Girls - Season 4 Today

Rose, the Sicilian Squirrel died in 1972. He choked on a Cracker Jack prize he’d been hiding in his cheek for twenty years.

The girls look at each other. Reluctantly, they start pulling money from their purses.

The money I was saving to have a young Pablo Escobar airbrushed onto a velvet painting.

She puts the cheap ruby around her neck. The four women raise their coffee mugs. The Golden Girls - Season 4

Well, I’m wearing it to the Rusty Anchor’s “Silver Swans” singles mixer tonight. And you’re all coming as my… entourage.

To George. A liar, but a stylish one.

Welcome to marriage, pussycat. The only thing more overrated than diamonds is the groom’s personality. Rose, the Sicilian Squirrel died in 1972

Freeze frame on Dorothy’s long-suffering face.

(noticing the necklace, goes pale): Oh my heavens. That’s it. The Medici Pretender.

Oh, that’s beautiful, Blanche. Like a drop of blood from a very fancy vampire. Reluctantly, they start pulling money from their purses

JULIAN arrives, but he’s not alone. TWO MEN in dark suits flank him. They look official and very serious.

Excuse me. I’m terribly sorry to intrude. My name is Dr. Julian Finch. I’m an art and antiquities appraiser from the Ringling Museum.

The necklace is around BLANCHE’s neck. She’s in a tight, gold lamé dress. ROSE is wearing a sensible floral mumu. DOROTHY is in her standard black shift dress. SOPHIA is in a track suit.

No, you don’t understand. That ruby is a priceless 18th-century forgery. It was stolen from a Venetian countess in 1923. Interpol has been looking for it for sixty years. If you wear that in public, you’ll be arrested for possession of stolen goods.

Suddenly, SOPHIA stands up on her chair, grabs the microphone from the bandleader, and points at JULIAN.